A Reminder to My Terrified Self

I’m terrified. I am straight up terrified. I have decisions to make that I never thought I would have to make. I have tuition to pay. I have relationships to deal with. I have a future ahead of me of which I know nothing. What am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to get married? How am I going to take care of myself? These are all questions that I have circulating through my mind and I have so little time to figure out the answers.

I don’t know what to do, but maybe that’s okay. Maybe it’s okay that I don’t have my life figured out. I don’t know what I am going to do after college and I don’t know if I will even get married, but that’s perfectly aright. I don’t have to have all my huge problems figured out because someone bigger already does. My life is in the hands of the God that created and sustains the universe. My path has already been laid before me and all I have to do is follow. My problems and questions are all in the hands of the God who spoke and the universe came into being.

Just in case you didn’t know just how big that means He is, here are some reminders. The earth is 3,959 miles in radius. Just for a comparison the US is just 2800 miles across. To go even further, The Milky Way is 100,000 light years. What is a light year though? Well it is how far light can travel during a year. Just so you know, light can travel around the earth seven times in one second. If that doesn’t already get your mind reeling, get a hold of this: the known universe is 93 billion light-years, and I can’t even give you a comparison for that one that will make sense. God created 93 billion light-years of universe by His word alone.

Just think the God that created all of that has a plan for the lives of both you and me. There are no more capable hands to hold my life than the ones it is already in. If God has a plan for my life He is going to lead me down that path, and nothing I can do can mess up the plans of the God of the universe. If God has a plan for my life then He is not going to make me guess at it and then smack me when I don’t guess right. I won’t be punished because I took the wrong guy to the dance. There is nothing that I can do that will surprise God.

Furthermore, if God has a plan for me, He will show me the way, step by step. If I am supposed to be in Med-school, then God will get me there. If I am supposed to get married then God is going to introduce me to the guy. I don’t have to go find Romeo because he is stuck in a tree or something. God doesn’t call us to do something and then not give us what we need to do what He has called us to do. As my mom always used to tell me: “God gives strength to those He has called, to do what He has called them to do.”

All that’s great, but my problem is I try and take control over my life anyway. Next time I just need to remember that dang it I just can’t create 93 billion light-years of universe with my voice, so maybe I should just trust the one who can. I have a lot ahead of me right now, and I am confident to say that I have no idea where I’m going. Do you know what? That is perfectly alright, because if God can create 93 billion light-years of universe, He can get me to where He wants me to go. It is only because I know that God has everything in His hands that I can say I have no idea what I’m doing, and I am excited for not knowing.


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